When time stands still

I recently took a trip to Sam Rayburn with the intentions of escaping the everyday stresses of working for the newspaper and life in general. A nice little vacation that would clear my mind and cleanse the soul; please excuse the cliches.

I came into work early knowing I wanted to  leave early and beat a majority of the traffic from everyone getting off work.
All day long was like waiting for Santa the night before Christmas; Stepping outside I would instantly see the bright orange kayak strapped down on the roof of my Jeep just aching to be placed in the water. This entire summer I had not found a single chance to drag it out of its prolonged period of exile and finally there it was, just a matter of time and I would be paddling across the waters of the lake.

Anticipating the possibility of bringing in some catfish or maybe a bass or two was daunting, I sat at my desk wishing I could speed up time, that I could somehow pull a Jedi mind trick on the clock. "It's four-thirty," I could say and the clock would respond accordingly by steadily creeping its hands forward. That of course never happened and I worked toward the end of the day minute by minute constantly casting ever-increasingly anxious glances toward the clock on the computer screen.

Finally the moment came, the clock hit four-thirty and I swiftly gathered my things and bolted into Roger's office proclaiming that I was hitting the road. He told me to have fun and stay safe while my foot was already out of the door. I couldn't wait to see those towering pine trees and leave the beastly mosquitoes behind for a lesser cousin.

The drive from Port Arthur to Pineland went great without much traffic and nothing to slow me down. I even ended up behind a large eighteen-wheeler hauling trees to the mill and it was though the hand of God sped it up for me. The second I came up on the truck it sped up to a quick pace and off we went.

The excitement grew up to the point of turning off paved road onto a gravel-laden dust dirt road. Then it became unbearable, pulling up the gate of the driveway into the camp was much like seeing the fabled gates of heaven, just with a lot less gold and pearls.

I arrived at my family's cabin and unpacked my things. Next was spending the remaining portion of my afternoon cleaning and sweeping everything in sight. We aren't up there all the time and everyone knows how dirt and dust appear out of thin air.

It was the next morning that truly made me realize that the world there seemed different than the world anywhere else. I woke up early and put my kayak in the water. Slowly I glided out, slipping through the water like a duck. I reached the first limb that seemed suitable for a line and swiftly rigged up some trot-line string and a hook with some of that wonderful smelling catfish bait. Paddling away from that limb I took a break and simply sat still in the water, enjoying the peace. There were no sounds of civilization to be heard; no boat engines could be heard, no cars, the sounds of my mind slowly melted away like a clock in a Dali painting.

That is when I realized that all of the wishing and begging I had perpetrated in my mind toward the clock, eagerly awaiting the time I would be enjoying this very minute was unnecessary. I can think of times in my day when time stands still, maybe it's when I'm enjoying a moment with my kids or when I'm out riding my motorcycle. I loved my time relaxing at the lake but I realized that I could find a way to make time stand still in my daily life as well.

Often times we let the world dictate our feelings and emotions to us with little regard to how these emotions affect us or those around us. I realized that we must contol our own emotions and feelings, we can not let time and the stresses of life force us to simply countdown our remaining minutes.

The drive home was filled with the same kind of anticipation I experienced on the way to the lake. I was so excited to get home and see my family. I had missed them more than words can do justice. It felt comforting to return to my daily life and the people associated with it. I can't wait to head back to the lake some day but for the time being I can still make time stop when I close my eyes and see the blue skies as my kayak slowly slips through glistening waters of Sam Rayburn.